Posted in God, life, religion, Uncategorized

WW

I LOVE GOD SO MUCH I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT ANYMORE. LIKE SOMETIMES I TRY TO TELL MY FRIENDS THE AMOUNT OF LOVE I HAVE FOR GOD AND I JUST WIND UP LIKE CRYING OR BUCKLING MY KNEES WHILE MUMBLING AND GRUNTING LOUDLY.

I AM WITHOUT WORDS FOR GOD’S LOVE HAS EXCEEDED ALL OF MY EXPECTATIONS.

Posted in God, life, religion, Uncategorized

G>g

National Day of Prayer. revival in cda is so real right now, it is such a light in our dark world. just thinking about all the people who came out in the wicked heat today to praise God & simply worship is crazy. God is opening up the hearts of our city & filling them w/ His love, wisdom, and grace. the church is coming together & uniting as one, just as God created the church to do. our prayer is so incredibly powerful, sometimes i think we forget what a gift it is that we have God to talk to & bring us thru our trials. the other gods (little g) we fall into serving in our flesh will never fulfill us like the one, true God (big G) will. He is so good. i can’t stress it enough. unfortunately, Christianity has been overtaken by religiosity (let us remember that when God took on flesh in the form of Jesus Christ, he broke EVERY preconceived thought of what religion should look like/be.) when asked what religion i am, i won’t say Christian. i am a child of God, Jesus Christ died for my sins so that i could have eternal life in Heaven w/ my Father. i am not restricted by some earthly “religion” that contains unfortunate yet true negative connotations. people who think Christians are the worst of all are missing something. the Christians they are thinking of aren’t Christians at all. think of it this way, when Jesus lived on earth, did He judge ANYONE?  no. He told us to not judge others just because they sin differently from us. the whole movement about God hating homosexuals etc. is SO out of context, disrespectful, & resembles anything but God. its about time that we start living out our claimed discipleship in the way that God intended us to. reaching out to others, being kind to anyone &everyone we meet, no matter their race, sexuality, religion, etc., being a light in dark places. reaching out to those who don’t yet know God & exemplifying the grace that He has given us. no one is perfect but God, & our religion won’t change that.

CAN I GET AN AMEN.

Posted in life, Poem, Uncategorized

Transgressions

Why my mind demands to engulf itself at this moment, I will never know.

My feelings consist of every color on the rainbow.

While I am well aware that I am simply experiencing what most adults like to call, “teen angst”,

I’d like to point out that I have gone for seventeen years without thanks.

I don’t mean to say I am unappreciated,

But that I have gone too long gated.

Held down by what my counterparts expect of me

I’ve been discredited for who I truly am, turning into nobody.

Let’s be real here, I am a by-product of the greatest gift in human history,

But for some reason the One who created us is seen as a mystery.

God has turned the tables of my mind

Reminding me that these thoughts are unrefined.

If I am indeed seen as a nobody,

I must be set free from this misery.

But oh! But ah!

The Creator of All once again reminds me that I must not withdraw.

He has given me a calling.

So why am I stalling?

He conquered my shame

And filled my world with grace.

I have come to the final conclusion that there is nothing holding me back but me.

I restrain myself from experiencing this glee.
But no longer.

I have gained a new hunger.

Never again will I hold I down

Because God has let my flesh drown. 

I have been made new by the One the Only Yahweh,

Letting my past sins & shame decay.

The enemy no longer grips onto me

For the Lord has made His decree.

Romans One – Sixteen 

Posted in life, school, Uncategorized

“Just Relax”

JUST RELAX.

I’ve come to the unfortunate conclusion that I believed a lie for sixteen and a half years.

Parents: “What is the number one priority?”

Me: (timidly) “Education.”

Context

My life becomes more stressful than ever from August 31st to June 10th. The reason for this? I have been trained my entire life to become an educational machine. I can shove information into my brain, and spit it out once the test passes. If my machine malfunctions at any point, as it often does (it is a 1999 model after all), my life is completely restricted. I can’t attend church. I can’t do homework outside of my bedroom. I can’t exercise. I can’t go anywhere besides school, the grocery store, and my room. While one would think this would make me more apt to raise my grades, it does but the opposite. This method of punishment works wonders on my anxiety fluxes and hormonal balance (or the lack thereof).

The new season

Two years ago when asked what my number one priority is by my parents, I would without a doubt give some variation of the answer in the above dialogue. Two weeks ago when my dad asked me that question as my AP U.S. History grade slipped into a 73%, I answered something he was clearly not content with. I said, “God. Then reading my Bible. Then family. Then other relationships. Then church. Then my community. Then education.” This answer is something that I have deeply contemplated and meditated on for months now. I came to the realization that my future is in God’s hands, & while I will do my best to succeed, I shouldn’t be so consumed in my “accomplished future” that I don’t even have time to talk to God before I go to bed at night. I’m not worried about getting a job that pays well or gives me a good reputation. I’m on this Earth to live for Him & Him alone. If it is God’s will for me to be homeless, honestly, so be it.

GOD IS OMNIPOTENT. HE DOES EVERYTHING FOR THE GREATER GOOD. JUST RELAX.